So Proud of LOCO

Today I was updating the LOCO website and I just got so proud of what we have done. 

It's been a long time since Nia Capps and I sat down at Crabby Joe's and talked about starting a recreational derby league. Seems like forever since I got inspired by Derby Lite and thought, why couldn't we do something like that here? We started LOCO when I was pregnant, and now my kid is almost 18 months old. Such a little idea, and it has grown and grown and grown. Just yesterday I got emails about starting two new LOCO chapters in Ontario. The mail-carrier brought me a copy of a derby magazine from Australia, called Hit & Miss, and there is an article about LOCO Roller Derby. 

We've found a way to bring out the best in so many skaters. I knew Vegas from FCDG, but I didn't know what a powerhouse trainer she would turn out to be! She's whipped our group into shape, always makes sure to put challenges in front of us, keeps us motivated -- and never calls us bitches. Leading London's skaters, she is incredible. I'm super impressed by all our VPs - Kole d'Hearted in Brantford, Lemon Zinger in Stratford, and the relentless Pepper Assault of Kitchener. 

Who would have thought that in two short years we would have four LOCO chapters, and be holding our first ever LOCO Tournament? On November 19th, the LOCO chapters will face-off in a mixed-roster match, beautiful coined the "Elle Grande" LOCO Tournament. Awesome!

This morning, checking out J-Whoa's new video for Stratford's LOCO chapter, it struck me that we've really started a new movement. LOCO isn't just for Ontario. It's for every derby girl, everywhere. It's the place to skate when you are injured or retired. It's the place to start out when you're too chicken shit to go to your local full-contact practice. It's the place where the biggest fans of the sport can play the sport when they need a low-cost, low-commitment alternative. It's a place for volunteers to rally behind their home teams and cheer them on to the championships. 

This January, LOCO Ontario is launching its new administrative structure and master manual for all the chapters. We're finally going to have a totally coherent system from which to grow. Who knows what the future holds, but right now, we're just getting bigger and bigger!

I am so proud of my LOCO ladies, and I can't wait to celebrate at our second annual Rollerball--to not only celebrate the accomplishments of LOCO skaters in London, but to celebrate the movement we gave birth to here in our little city in Southwestern Ontario.

#occupyrollerderby

I am a bigot

I am a bigot.

Here’s why: a bigot is defined as someone who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race or politics and is intolerant of those who differ. Yeah, that’s me.

I cannot tolerate sizeists, racists, sexists, abortion clinic bombers, homophobics and social conservatives. In fact, I am so sick of their crap, I cannot even condescend to speak to them about the issues upon which we disagree. These are not conversations I am patient enough to have anymore. As far as I’m concerned, the human race has moved on, and if you haven’t caught up, you are just less evolved than I am—I say “evolved,” because even though I am a Christian, I haven’t written off the theory of evolution.

It’s embarrassing, because for the most part, the sizeist, racist, sexist abortion clinic bombers (who  always somehow get caught buggering someone of the same sex in a roadside bathroom) are always self-professed Christians. They make it really hard for me to follow the actual teachings of Christ and be taken seriously. Concepts like universal grace and unconditional love get kinda lost when you are banning people from your establishment because they wear a dress and have a penis at the same time. The bible says that God sees the heart of man and not his outer appearance, but I suppose we should trifle about which side of the department store you shop on, even though, you know, Jesus pranced around the desert in what was pretty nearly a dress.

Of course, this issue is not a trifle to the manager of the Trails End Farmer’s Market in London, Ontario. It’s an issue of morality. Even though gay marriage is legal in Canada, according to him, “it’s not legal in my establishment”—he said that to me on the phone. He doesn’t seem to understand that banning transgendered employees of vendors from his market violates the fifteenth section of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Apparently, his insane religious beliefs make him smarter than the rest of us.

I have loads of friends that still think that being homosexual is a sin. We just don’t talk about it. As I mentioned earlier, these are not conversations I’m willing to have anymore. People will believe what they chose to believe, and if they ever come to the spiritual awakening that I did and embrace God’s unrestricted affection for all of humanity, there are plenty of resources for them to read, listen to and embrace that can help them gain a deeper understanding of God’s complete and utter love for homosexuals and yes, even a guy in a dress. Until that time, any conversation we have is just going to be a waste of time.

Honestly, it’s a relief that my friends don’t tell me about their terrible, horrible secret opinions. I’m very glad they stay closeted about it. Because I am a bigot. I can’t handle it. It’s just not natural. I mean, I’m not sure I can even pray with them anymore, because their homophobia might rub off on me. Is it even safe to share a toilet with them?

I’m a bigot. And I’m not ashamed. 

Roller Derby Training for Fatties: Cross-Overs

Ages ago I said I would post on how to do cross-overs as a fat derby skater. In the photo above, you'll see a perfect cross-over. But here's the thing: when you can't cross your legs, how do you perform a cross-over?

This has been one of the biggest challenges for me as a skater. It's also very difficult from a learning standpoint because when you ask someone who is good at cross-overs to help you, they are inevitably someone who can easily cross their legs off-skate and can't comprehend your fat-specific needs as a skater. A lot of plus-size derby girls just skip cross-overs all together and find other ways to get speed and navigate corners, adopting an awkward version of cross-overs for skills testing.

Here's the thing: I have, on occasion, performed a proper cross-over. It requires the perfect storm of quad strength, muscle warmth, flexibility and distraction. Usually it's during a speed drill, when I don't even think about it. But there is a way to train for cross-overs when you can't cross your legs, and here are my tips on how to do fat cross-overs:

1. START BY RUNNING ON THE CORNERS

Some derby teams train doing "fast feet" or "quick steps." If you are familiar with this drill, you'll understand how important agility is as a big skater. To start doing cross-overs, use fast feet every time you hit the corner. Another way to look at it is running, sprinting or jogging on the corners. Get your feet moving. Don't get stuck in a lean. Learn that you can still transfer your weight when you are concentrating on making a tight turn and not sliding out.

I have found that simply running on the corners often gives me the speed advantage I miss out on when it's not a confident cross-over night. You can still use the push of your outer right thigh and the push of your inner left thigh to get some of the acceleration of a cross-over without performing one completely.

2. LEAN FORWARD

A very insightful ref once told me that he noticed that bigger skaters have to lean further forward when they skate around the corners. This is true. You can also translate this into "good derby training" language by saying you should GET LOW. Every skater knows that getting low enough is the never-ending challenge for a derby skater. So, work on it. Get low and lean forward.

If you think about the geometry of your thighs, you have to make a wider gait to cross your legs over one another. The farther forward you lean and the lower you get, the wider your gait will become. This will allow you to perform a fat cross-over.

2. EXERCISE YOUR QUADS

If you want to carry your weight in roller derby, the biggest focus will have to be on building quad strength. Without this, you can't get low and you can't lean forward. Do squats, leg presses and anything else you can to get your quads up to speed. This will help you with all of your derby skills (see my earlier post on Training for Fatties). Your quads are the key to making your weight your biggest asset. They allow you to move your booty around quickly and with accuracy.

Hope this helps all my fat derby sisters out there! I'll have some more Roller Derby Training for Fatties posts in the future.

Fat Derby Returns!

It's time to return to talking about fat, and talking about roller derby.

The truth is, when I don't keep up with my fellow fatties on the internet, it's easy to fall back into old mentalities. It's harder to keep up my body-love thinking. I'm more likely to have "fat" days, start beating myself up about the sugar in my Starbucks, or get triggered by other people's diet talk. I need to stay on the ball, because I believe this to be true: my body is a beautiful thing.

Roller derby is a unique challenge when it comes to body image because, well, we don't wear a lot of clothes. I've been slowly disrobing. At LOCO Roller Derby, we make it a priority to foster an encouraging and positive environment. This goes hand-in-hand with the sport. It doesn't matter how good our training is, how fast we skate, or how many women come out on a Friday night. If we aren't having a good time and pushing each other to be happier, healthier, and empowered women, none of that matters. My philosophy of self-acceptance works well within this construct. It's because of this that I've had the courage to take off my yoga pants and don tights with hot pants.

The first time was at Wipe Out, our big public charity fundraiser in May. I wore these gold hot pants:

Which in action, looked like this:

My pal Villain-Elle made them (she's on the team). She had other colours to choose from, but I picked GOLD because I wanted to make a conscious choice not to be embarrassed about my ass. I wanted to put my booty out there and say, fuck it, I look awesome in these hot pants! Plus I was a little tipsy when she had me pick the colour and I was convinced I would look like Wonder Woman. She's been bugging me to give them back to her so she can take them in ever since, since she said they were too big, and whatever, maybe they were a little, but still -- I wore gold hot pants in front of a crowd! Playing a sport! That's a big step for the shamed little fat girl I used to be.

Since then I've discovered that I really prefer working out in tights and hot pants. My body can move more freely. I'm not thinking about how I look or what I'm wearing, despite the fact that I'm wearing fewer clothes. And while I still have not overcome hang-ups about other things -- like swimsuits, as my derby friends can attest, and as was clearly demonstrated at a pool party this summer -- I think I've almost completely conquered my derby-garb issues.

Some people are surprised when I express doubts or insecurities about my body. They're confused because I'm so vocal about my body-positivity philosophy, my anti-dieting stance, and they wonder how these two points of view can co-exist in one person. But while I fight to remove the stigma from fatness, I am also engrained with years and years of shame-training. Every day is a fight to get past the stupid shitty thinking that was packed into my brain like donuts in a bingeing pie-hole. If there is one thing I am always purging, it is the negativity that clings to my thighs worse than cellulite and tears away at my belly worse than stretch marks.

When it comes to derby, I've decided to fake it 'til I make it. So when I saw this picture of myself, roll exposed, belly hanging out, I made it my profile photo on Facebook. Because the old me would have been terrified to have this picture out there. The new me knows it's a great photograph. It shows me at my best -- playing my favourite sport, and not giving a shit what anyone thinks of me.

Keep on rolling - and I promise to post again next week, the long-awaited crossovers post. 

Vansterdamn XXX

Photos by Rosemary Van Gelderen and Brendan Adam Zwelling Photography

LOCO Sluts!

This Sunday, LOCO Roller Derby got on board with the London Solidarity Slut Walk. We were Safety Sisters, so our job was to help keep the foot traffic in line during the walk, making sure everyone was safe as they marched and stayed on the right side of the street. It was amazing. About 400 people showed up according the police officers there. It was peaceful, empowering and exciting. 

Since the march was controversial, I wanted to write a little bit about the Slut Walk and what it meant, especially since I blog about what the word FAT means. A lot of people objected to the use of the term SLUT, including some of my family members. They didn't understand why we would support the use of that word, a word that has been used to make women feel like shit about themselves. Some of the participants referred to reclaiming the word SLUT, and for the objectors, they didn't get how we could ever turn the word SLUT into a positive word. 

I'm a FAT activist, and part of FAT activism is taking the word FAT back. That means removing the negative connotations of the word. When I say, "I'm fat," I don't mean, "I suck." When someone calls me FAT, I say, "yeah, I know." I describe other large women as fellow FATties, surf FAT girl websites and shop in FAT girl clothing stores. That's because being FAT isn't a bad thing. When people say I'm not FAT, I have to stop them and say, yes, yes, I am FAT. But I also have to explain that I agree with them in a way - I'm not FAT in the way they think I am using the word. I am not lazy, misshapen, abnormal or ugly. But I am another kind of FAT: I'm beautiful, and that's fine with me. Better than fine, I'm actually happy to be FAT. Being FAT has made me who I am. At this point in my life, I wouldn't want to be thin. I take back the word FAT. It means something new. 

I don't think we can take back the word SLUT in the same way. We're not about to go around being proud to be SLUTs. I mean, some activists might try doing that as a way to celebrate their sexuality, but the difference is, my sexuality is private in a different way than my body. You can see my body right in front of you. My sexual habits are hidden and only shared with some others. And while my body is private in that it is only my business, it is public for you to see. My sex life is totally private, unless I chose otherwise. This is an essential difference. 

And we also have to remove SLUT from the same dialogue as GAY and LESBIAN or any other LGBT referencing words. Some people might get these words jumbled into the same pile because they involve sex. But, your sexual orientation is an essential part of who you are, and while private, is also public in the way that FAT is. Your sexual orientation affects your daily life, your social world. It's visible to others (if you let it be - I'm not saying you can spot a gay person by how they look). So, the word SLUT can't taken back the way some derogatory words referencing the LGBT community can be. 

Does that make sense? I'm trying to make a point and it might not be coming across very well. But I think most women would agree that we'd like to stop using the word SLUT rather than calling all women SLUTs, because all women have the right to be sexual, and if we reclaimed the word SLUT in that way, we would have to call all of us SLUTs. 

Reclaiming the word SLUT means something different in this case. It means taking away the word's power. By coming together in this walk and calling ourselves all SLUTs and walking together in solidarity, we're showing the word to be hollow and empty. We're taking away it's hurtfulness. So rather than giving the word SLUT a new meaning, we're making it mean nothing. 

The women of LOCO seemed to instinctual get this, and while we didn't sit down and hash it out, we showed our support by showing up and helping out. Afterwards, we sat on a patio where I got a righteous sunburn and had a beer. The Slut Walk brought us together -- again -- and reminded us of how much power there is in coming together to stand up for what is right. 

The Slut Walk isn't for everyone, and that's cool. Not everyone can look at a word like SLUT straight on and not be offended. Some people would just like us to banish the word like we have other derogatory phrases and move on. But for others, this was a chance to attack an attitude in society that women are somehow responsible for the sexual assaults and rapes that they are subject to. After all, we all know someone who has been raped or assaulted. 

I capitalized these words, because we need to look at them. We need to face what they mean, and choose whether or not to give these words the power they ask for. 

What do you think? I'm trying to express something here and I'd like to know if I did it well, so please write in the comments (unless you are just a hater, and then I'll delete you, cause it's my blog and I can do that if I want). 

For the time being, I'm proud to have walked with all my fellow LOCO Sluts this Sunday.

Vansterdamn XXX

Roller Derby Training for Fatties: Basics

A reader messaged me about fat-specific training for roller derby. When I started out, there were absolutely no resources on this topic, and I still can't find any, so let me start with some basics, and later I'll post on ever fat derby girl's nemesis: the cross-over.

But first, some basics -- and all this with the caveat that I'm no Suzy Hotrod :)

The muscle groups that challenge me the most are my upper thigh/hip muscles, my lower back/core muscles and my shins. If you are trying to achieve proper derby stance, these will all be working hard, no matter what your weight. The thing is, if you are a big girl, your muscles are carrying more weight, so you need more muscles to carry yourself in the right position. What is the right position? Click here. You may have trouble getting as low as you can go because your belly might press against your thighs. This is a common problem, and I notice many larger skaters, no matter how accomplished, often ride higher than their tiny pals. That being said, always press for the burn -- if you can't feel your muscles working, guess what? they aren't. 

Getting your muscles toned to carry your weight in proper derby stance is 90% of the battle. It can take a long time. I would say that it has taken me a full year to get myself into the shape I want to be in for proper derby stance each time I've taken an extended break from the sport. The good news is, once you have those muscle groups working well, you will have an easier time doing transitions, skating backwards and increasing your speed. You need these major muscle groups to be working well in order so you can get to the fine muscle groups in the next step of your training, learning agility and quick movements.

Remember, we're all built differently. You might have some muscles that are all ready there. You might have one group of muscles that needs more work than another. Don't sweat it -- or rather, do sweat it!

When I go to the gym, I do the following workout on these muscle groups to target my derby needs.

1. Cardio

I hit the elliptical trainer for 20-40 minutes depending on the day and how much time I have (I spend 20-40 minutes on weights, for a total hour workout). The more cardio the better. Every time you do cardio, you force your lungs to develop new blood vessels that carry oxygen to your muscles. Your whole workout, your muscle strength, everything rests on your cardiovascular health.

2. Core

This means your abs, your obliques and your back. I do basic sit-ups, oblique sit-ups, and then I use the back machine. You can also do "reverse sit-ups," something I created on my own. I stand with my legs shoulder width apart, knees bent in derby position, and then I bend forward with my hands behind my head like when doing a sit-up. Keep your back straight! Then I press upwards. Find the sweet spot that is the hardest and press against it. Do tiny movements or big ones, whatever gives you the burn. You can also do these on skates on your knees. Bend your butt backwards like you are sitting on your skates and crunch forward. When you come up again, press your ass forwards and suck in. ** When you are exercising your back, keep your abs taut -- stabilizing your core.

3. Thighs/Hips

I use the hip abductor machines (inner and outer), the hamstring machine and the quad machine. If you are brave, you can use the glute machine, but I find these machine is not very fatty friendly, and prefer to work my glutes on the elliptical or wave machines.

4. Shins

To offset shin pain, I work on my calves, doing calf presses. You'll find with time and stretching, your shin splints will disappear.

Now, I skate recreationally. If I were a competitive skater, I would do this 5 times a week. But I'm a busy momma, so I do this Monday and Wednesday, and I skate with LOCO Roller Derby on Fridays.

Later I will blog about going to the gym and being fat (a whole issue on its own) and crossovers.

Just a quick disclaimer: if going to the gym triggers dieting mentality or body-loathing for you, try finding alternatives to these exercises at home. You can also do a lot with climbing stairs (really works all those target groups at once!).

Vansterdamn

XXX

The Safety Zone: Fat Jokes Aren't Funny

That's one of those anonymous headless fatty photos from a news program. It's pretty offensive, but that's not what I'm here to post about today. Today, I want to address the Safety Zone. 

What is the Safety Zone? It's the space I create around me where I don't have to put up with remarks about body and weight that are contrary to my ideas of loving my fat self. In the Safety Zone, I don't have to engage with people in diet talk, listen to them make comments about other people's bodies, my body or about how important it is to be thin. They can try, but I'll shut them down. I figure, the most effective thing I can do as a dabbling fat activist is to try to shut down the fat-hate I encounter on a daily basis. It's about on par with buying local produce and not driving a car. Like my carbon footprint, I'm trying to make a small impact that has larger effects. 

I decided to implement my Safety Zone (coined thusly for the purposes of this blog) because after 31 years of being told I'm too fat for the world, I figured I could stop putting up with that kinda shit. When I try to shut down diet/body-shame talk, it usually results in some typical responses. 

"Oh shit, there goes Vanessa on her fat acceptance bullshit again. Shut up quick or she'll go on about it forever." 

"I guess I shouldn't make fat jokes in front of my fat friend, duh." 

"This obviously makes Vanessa uncomfortable, and out of an innate sense of courtesy, I'm going to shut the hell up." 

All of these responses mean an end to the conversation. Hooray! 

However, sometimes you get people who actually feel like it's a good time to debate fat acceptance with me, or persist in making comments that they know are pissing me off. Often, these buggers accompany their inexorable explanations with the usual ideas, like "But don't you know that being fat is unhealthy?" or "It's their fault they are fat" or "It's okay to make fun of fat people because being fat is a choice."

When I run into people like this, I would best compare it to watching Christopher Hitchens get into a debate with Billy Graham. No one is going to change their mind. The debate will go nowhere. It makes everyone uncomfortable. My response to these situations is usually to back down and get the hell out. 

To make things more complicated, since "fat" is such a subjective concept, I often find that friends will make fat jokes in front of me. They don't think to themselves don't make fat jokes in front of a fatty because they don't think of me as fat - this says a lot about what "fat" means in our cultural perception. They are often shocked that I would be offended by a fat joke, and think I'm being stupid and picky, the way some people are offended by any joke and are humourless sour pusses intent on ruining everyone's good time. 

I believe that censorship is wrong. And I believe that humour should have no boundaries. There are jokes about rape that are funny (see Sarah Silverman). There are jokes about being gay that are funny. There are jokes about handicaps that are freaking hilarious. There are also jokes to be made about fatness. Many female, gay and handicapped people would laugh at these jokes. Nevertheless...

Fat jokes are not funny. 

Gay jokes are not funny. 

Handicap jokes are not funny. 

Making fun of the way someone was born is not inherently funny. All you're doing is pointing at someone and laughing at them for being them. It's not okay. And I won't stand there and watch you do it and not say anything about it. 

And I'm sorry if that makes you angry at me. But I have to say something. Besides, you're in my Safety Zone. And if you haven't noticed, I blog, Tweet, Facebook and talk about Fat Acceptance a lot. A. Lot. So wake up, and if you don't want me to say anything about it, don't say it around me. Just like you wouldn't make a gay joke in front of your gay friend, or a race joke in front of a visible minority, don't make a fat joke in front of a fat person. 

Duh.