The Fat Girl Rules

I encountered something interesting today when I went to put my gym membership on hold. I've been putting off doing it forever, and it was only when I finally did it that I realized why.

Fat girls are supposed to have gym memberships.

My reasons for putting it on hold are simple. With roller derby practice twice a week, for two hours each time, it's unrealistic that I'm going to make it to the gym more than once a week. That's $10/session. That's not very economical -- it costs the same for a guest pass.

It occurred to me that there are a list of things I do or do not do because of the Fat Girl Rules. Items on this list include not jumping up and down in public, ordering salads, always ordering diet soda, missing the bus instead of running for it and never tucking in your shirt. I do (or don't do) these things because they are the Fat Girl Rules. And a fat girl without a gym membership is a sad sorry sort of girl who has given up and will let herself go into a disgusting, smeared-lipsticked cat lady with a bad dye job.

Little do people know that this fatty is in training to become a tough-as-nails blocker, and could very well kick their tushes to kingdom come. They walk around completely unaware that despite my "unhealthy" girth, I can haul ass around a rink at top speed for two hours, keeping up with girls half my size and knocking them over.

Roller derby is a sport that breaks the rules. If I'm a rollergirl, that makes me a rule breaker. So here is the first rule I am breaking on the list of the Fat Girl Rules: I'm letting go of my gym membership.

Cheers,

Vansterdamn XXX