The Safety Zone: Fat Jokes Aren't Funny

That's one of those anonymous headless fatty photos from a news program. It's pretty offensive, but that's not what I'm here to post about today. Today, I want to address the Safety Zone. 

What is the Safety Zone? It's the space I create around me where I don't have to put up with remarks about body and weight that are contrary to my ideas of loving my fat self. In the Safety Zone, I don't have to engage with people in diet talk, listen to them make comments about other people's bodies, my body or about how important it is to be thin. They can try, but I'll shut them down. I figure, the most effective thing I can do as a dabbling fat activist is to try to shut down the fat-hate I encounter on a daily basis. It's about on par with buying local produce and not driving a car. Like my carbon footprint, I'm trying to make a small impact that has larger effects. 

I decided to implement my Safety Zone (coined thusly for the purposes of this blog) because after 31 years of being told I'm too fat for the world, I figured I could stop putting up with that kinda shit. When I try to shut down diet/body-shame talk, it usually results in some typical responses. 

"Oh shit, there goes Vanessa on her fat acceptance bullshit again. Shut up quick or she'll go on about it forever." 

"I guess I shouldn't make fat jokes in front of my fat friend, duh." 

"This obviously makes Vanessa uncomfortable, and out of an innate sense of courtesy, I'm going to shut the hell up." 

All of these responses mean an end to the conversation. Hooray! 

However, sometimes you get people who actually feel like it's a good time to debate fat acceptance with me, or persist in making comments that they know are pissing me off. Often, these buggers accompany their inexorable explanations with the usual ideas, like "But don't you know that being fat is unhealthy?" or "It's their fault they are fat" or "It's okay to make fun of fat people because being fat is a choice."

When I run into people like this, I would best compare it to watching Christopher Hitchens get into a debate with Billy Graham. No one is going to change their mind. The debate will go nowhere. It makes everyone uncomfortable. My response to these situations is usually to back down and get the hell out. 

To make things more complicated, since "fat" is such a subjective concept, I often find that friends will make fat jokes in front of me. They don't think to themselves don't make fat jokes in front of a fatty because they don't think of me as fat - this says a lot about what "fat" means in our cultural perception. They are often shocked that I would be offended by a fat joke, and think I'm being stupid and picky, the way some people are offended by any joke and are humourless sour pusses intent on ruining everyone's good time. 

I believe that censorship is wrong. And I believe that humour should have no boundaries. There are jokes about rape that are funny (see Sarah Silverman). There are jokes about being gay that are funny. There are jokes about handicaps that are freaking hilarious. There are also jokes to be made about fatness. Many female, gay and handicapped people would laugh at these jokes. Nevertheless...

Fat jokes are not funny. 

Gay jokes are not funny. 

Handicap jokes are not funny. 

Making fun of the way someone was born is not inherently funny. All you're doing is pointing at someone and laughing at them for being them. It's not okay. And I won't stand there and watch you do it and not say anything about it. 

And I'm sorry if that makes you angry at me. But I have to say something. Besides, you're in my Safety Zone. And if you haven't noticed, I blog, Tweet, Facebook and talk about Fat Acceptance a lot. A. Lot. So wake up, and if you don't want me to say anything about it, don't say it around me. Just like you wouldn't make a gay joke in front of your gay friend, or a race joke in front of a visible minority, don't make a fat joke in front of a fat person. 

Duh.